So I am pretty sure that I become a zombie every night when I fall asleep. Seriously, I become totally delirious and unable to cope if awakened. I am just SO tired that my body must completely shut down.
I try to think back when this all started because I have not always been this way. I was never a super crazy night owl but I used to be quite the morning person (I was the baker at Einsteins Bagels in Logan -- 4 a.m. starting time means serious morning person commitment). I think I can narrow my fall from the graces of the morning gods to my mission. Seriously, I was just WAY too tired. You hear about those people who after their missions cannot sleep in past 6:30 or 7 a.m. Well, I think that's a big fat lie.
So, the point is, I'm a total zombie at night. My mother-in-law said it would change as soon as I had kids. Well, it didn't. I'm still a wreck. Sometimes when my kids cry in the night and on the rare occasion that it breaks through my drug-like state, it turns my dreams into nightmares because I tense up and know that the sound is something bad and needs to be attended to but I'm not quite sure what it is. So much for waking up and rushing to their aid -- I can't even process the sounds of their cries! I'm pathetic.
For instance, early the other morning, I was just sleeping away (probably with my mouth wide open -- poor Scott) and turned to roll over and I head-butted Ruby as Scott was handing her to me to feed her. It was almost 6 a.m., she had been crying in her bed, I failed to hear it (even though the monitor was on MY side of the bed), AND I didn't even wake up when Scott left to go get her.
Oh well, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. At least I don't have to walk up our 27,000 stairs to get Ruby out of her bed in the morning. Sorry Scott.
3 years ago