Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde

Do not be deceived by this face. Cute, right? But there's a dark side to Ms. Ruby that many of you don't know about. Oh my, is it dark. Believe me, it's practically midnight oil (remember that old band? My older sister, Liz, had that cd when I was growing up and I remember thinking I had to listen and learn if I wanted to be "cool.").

Perhaps I should enlighten you. But be advised, it ain't gonna be pretty.

I call this catastrophe the Muted Mess Maker.

When will I learn that with Ruby around Silence = Disaster? Disaster is like Ruby's new Modus Operandi (doesn't it feel so much more sophisticated and pretentious to say that instead of plain old M.O.? Gosh, "M.O." is so yesterday.).

This picture doesn't even show the half of her sneaky mess. Henry said it was all Ruby's idea and I believe him. Yes, I do. Like Henry would put the blame on someone else. He's an honorable gent.

But the most fascinating part is how quickly Ruby transforms into her alter ego. One minute, she's walking around, holding Henry's hand, cute as can be:

And then the next minute she rips her hand out of Henry's, starts throwing toys, screaming bloody murder, and body slamming Tau. (I think she thinks she's secretly auditioning for the new American Gladiators. She wants her stage name to be Rubicon's Brass Ring.)

And then, suddenly, all is well in the life of Ruby and she's just as darling as before, just making a few important phone calls:

I think she's calling all of her posse, trying to set up her new non-profit, TAT, Toddlers Against Tattooing.

And then, just yesterday, Ms. Hyde reared her actually quite adorable, but still very naughty head. I had corralled her on my bed, her usual spot, while I took a shower. But there was nothing "usual" about this day. Ohhhhhhhh no. When I came out, I found this:

The only obvious question would be, "Well what, pray tell, did the Book of Ezekiel ever do to you Ms. Ruby?"

She ripped out three pages and then proceeded to rip those three pages in half and then dig her fingernail through five other pages of scripture. Quel sacrilege!

I can only imagine that she had just read verse 20. And if she hadn't read it, she needs to ... preferably substituting the word "daughter" in for "son" and "mother" in for "father." Maybe, just maybe, she might be forgiven of her offense.

So once again, don't let looks deceive you .... objects behind lens are not as innocent as they appear.


Two Ladies and No Baby said...

This is so Ruby! I hope you have an inkling of what the future could hold for you as Ruby's parents. Rough years ahead ya'll. She's going to up to all sorts of shinanigans. At least you know she's reading scriptures. Scripture power.

Heidi said...

Just a side note to Ruby's multiple personalities: Chris loved Midnight Oil. I can never think of them as separate beings . . .

I feel your pain. Maybe it's just second children?

Jaeson and Traci Repscher said...

Your posts are like mini movies! I love it! I always look forward to getting on your blog to see what whitty posts you have made. Ruby is such a cutie! My favorite is her low, deep, growl. Quite the sound for such a little girl!

ali degraff said...

ok. hilarious. how did you even know what M.O. stands for? you are one of those smart folks, aren't ya?

Thanks for making me feel like my child is not as bad as I thought. at least for the moment.

Spitzer Family said...

Uh Oh!!!!! McKinley was playing with these little dolls tonight and she asked me to hold "Henry" for a minute-don't worry, it was the boy doll. Too cute-she named him Henry!!!!

harmony said...

Glad to know you got one of those special children too. Love it.

Two Ladies and No Baby said...

That's my little protege. Her hair has grown since I've seen her. She's probably so distraught and making messes because she hasn't seen her favorite Aunt Kate in so long. She's losing her identity. Poor little lamb. Good thing the cabin is just over the horizon.
-Favorite Aunt Kate

PS. I'm glad you enjoyed Rosa's post. And I'm flattered that you liked "I'll bite your neck" But Cel, when have you ever been afraid to drop the "B" word? Be real with me would ya? Frick!

Adrienne said...

Little Ruba-doo! What a pest! I'm seconding the second child theory cuz Ezra is the same way, but I thought it was a boy thing!

My favorite line of this post? What, pray tell, did the book of Ezekiel do to you? lol!

The McCulloughs said...

My little Maddie is the same way. Maybe it is just a girl thing, but one minute she is as cute as can be and the next she turns evil.... oh can we even handle this when they are teenagers??? I am so scared! I love reading your blog.. you Smith's are too dang funny! Looking sooo forward to our vaca! Mandy