Try, Try Again

So lately I've been caught up thinking about my own parenting skills. I know that we're our own toughest critic but seriously, sometimes I really do need a little criticism. I know I'm not expected to be Mother Theresa or anything and I can honestly say I don't seem to be as reckless a "mother" as Britney Spears but an occasional personal reflection can't hurt.

Sometimes I fool myself into thinking I'm a rather patient person and life's little trials are like water off a duck's back to me. Then Henry takes his sandals off (after I've specifically asked him not to) when we're literally 10 seconds away from the store and I go just short of berserk! Seriously, how hard is it to just take two seconds and put his sandals back on? Calm down!

Another big one for me, as a mother, is the ongoing debate of, "Am I selfish?" Just last week for example, I was exhausted from the moment I woke up one day and looked so forward to taking a nap when the kids went down. Of course Ruby napped early and wrecked my plans, so I put Henry down for his nap, planted Ruby next to me on my bed to watch Baby Einsteins and I slowly drifted off to sleep. I awoke 10 (???) minutes later to find Ruby asleep face down on the bed with her little butt straight up in the air. Poor thing -- she was tired after all! The worst part is, I tried to move her to be more comfortable and saw that she had little circle marks all over her face from falling asleep on the remote control! Now if that doesn't make you feel like a selfish, neglectful parent, I don't know what does!

I'd like to think that I am able to overcome certain challenges and that I'm only becoming better and better as life goes on but at this rate, I might need to have 89 children so I can finally raise one right! I'm so relieved that the Lord is more patient and unselfish with me than I am with my own kids because I would certainly not have the patience to try and teach someone over and over and OVER again how to do things right. So I guess all I can do is try, try again -- hopefully one day it will come out sort of right.


Melissa said...

You should have snapped a photo of the circles on her face! How funny! If she was sleeping...she was fine. Not selfish at all to snag a nap - what kind of mom would you be if you were exhausted?
Does sound like you are hard on yourself. I am sure you are a fabulous mom (and wife...you took your baby camping - awesome!)

Jessica said...

Oh, I think you are a fantastic mother - you are way more patient then I am. I wake up and just say... Perspective... Perspective... perspective - then by 9:30 I'm loosing it!

Adrienne said...

seriously, not to be the martyr in the fam, but I have always said that you and Liz are way better mothers than I am. That story about Ruby is funny, but yes, a little sad. But how could you have known she was that tired? My justification with naps is that I am a better mom if I am well rested, so I am actually doing my kids a favor by taking a little rest....otherwise, I am grouchy. But I hear ya--my friend Sara and I always said that if we had listed some characteristics about ourselves before we had kids, being patient would have been near the top. Now I don't know if I could say that!

ali degraff said...

good luck with the 89 children. as for me and my house, I think we'll try to get it as close to "good" with 3 or 4.

Cody, Nikell, Noah, and Crew said...

Oh Cels, you're way too hard on yourself! 89 children? 87 more bouts of nausea and vomiting is not a big deal. Well, I love the new blog and especially the picture of Ruby so happy.